February 3, 2010
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Memories and Dreams
The moon swallowed the sun
In the silence of the night
Only the God of the universe
Could help us reuniteCandle glows faint on dreams
That we used to share
Surely this hour of darkness
Angels protect the dreams we once sharedI have cried the tears
Upon sand where we used to lay
Barefoot and free
We made memories that staySomething seems odd
Time without you
Only memories and dreams
For the soul that I knewThe candle seems not to care
As the last flicker of light
Leaves me alone
Encased in moonlightI will close my eyes
Pray the same prayer
Grant me our dream
That we used to share © 2010
Comments (22)
What a sad poem of unrequited love.
@vexations - Bill thanks for stopping by and also for the mini! I agree this is a sad poem. Keep warm and maybe Spring will be here soon.
“used to share” – hem
Very cute, audibly sad, a might bland for all of its potential, but for a simplistic work, very lovely.
@Seranish_Shores - Thanks for your comments … I am trying to improve my poetry and I appreciate your comments.
Your opening sets this poem up really well. I like the image that creates.
@zens_pen - Thank you very much for your comment … I struggled with this poem and I am glad you liked what you read.
When you ‘cry the tears on the sand where we used to play’… these tears become the raging waves too, taken into the ocean by other waves, to bring crashing back on the same shore, to remind you that you are not forgotten. This was a sad love poem. Very well written.
mmmm… melancholy, but beautiful, at the same time… nice write!
yes, sad and beautiful. twists my heart to read this … been there.
j.
Dang, that’s sad. ”Only the God of the universe could help us reunite.” That made me especially sad. Beautiful tho. :0)
@ZSA_MD - Thank you for your comment on my poem. I agree very sad … sometimes one has to walk into the valley to understand what climbing a mountain is really like. Life is full of sadness and also joy. Thanks for visiting.
@J_P_Savage - Thanks for you comments and for visiting.
@speraquodvereor - Thanks for your comments … I feel that most people can relate this kind of sadness. Wish you the best!
@ccarothers - Thanks for visiting and for your comments. Hope your 2010 is filled with many days of joy and happiness.
i am VERY joyful to know you are faithful too my friend!!!!
praise to our Lord JESUS!!
@chr1st1an - Thank you for your kind words … God bless you as well.
This was a most well written piece. I loved the wistfulness in the words. Sadly, such a loss as you described is how true affection is measured.
@zionlover - I thank you for such kind words … I do feel that it could use some improvement in several areas. When you read any of my work and you would like to make suggestions or ideas of changes … I am very open to constructive criticism. I am really trying to improve my writing skills. Thanks so much for visiting and I wish you best.
Steve
very sad
@NightlyDreams - Yes some of my poetry is sad. Thanks for stopping in!
@stevieheart - You’re very welcome, Steve. I kind of, however, don’t like criticizing other people’s poetry for the simple fact that I don’t fancy people doing it to mine. The reason being is that some tend to misinterpret the message of my poems and criticize them on a pretense. This is especially true whenever I use metaphors and they are taken literally. But I personally think this poem is great as is and wouldn’t change a single verse of it. I too love exercising my writing skills and Xanga is a perfect place to do so. Take care.
@zionlover - I understand your reason for not wanting to give constructive criticism … and thats ok … I completely understand your concerns, but just know that if you feel like giving some suggestions or ideas I am very open to getting that feed back. I will never take your suggestion in a negative way. Thanks again for visiting.