February 8, 2010
-
Paper Dreams
Dreams spin
Gyroscope of life
Gathering scenes
Throughout
The moonlit night
The tour begins
Before the dawn
Navigating the nerves
As images spawn
Through gossamer vapor
Angels paint the dreams
On God’s given paper © 2010
Comments (10)
I probably would place the “the” after “throughout” into the next line. Flows better when I read it. Besides that nice poem.
And I see you’re listening to Fleetwood Mac. After your recommendation on my pulse I listened to them a bit. Good music but not really my kind of music.
@eve1684 - Thank you so much for your suggestion … I agree and have made the change! I also understand that you may not care for Fleetwood Mac … some of their music I don’t care for as well, but I really love their song called Dreams and many of their other songs on this CD. Thanks again for the suggestion.
gyroscope of life. Nice line. Think it aughta be plural though, seeing as how we dream so many different messages and stories. Storyboards of Heaven/guiding our way.
@Seranish_Shores - Thanks for comment and suggestion and taking the time to visit my poetry.
Very nice poem… The last 2 lines – wow. And I wouldn’t be surprised if it inspired this poem a bit. Music can do that. peace always
@peacenow - Thank you so much for your more than generous comments on my poem Paper Dreams.
Angels paint the dreams on God’s given paper!! That was very clever and well said sentiment. I liked it a lot.
@ZSA_MD - I love those two lines as well. Thanks so much for your kind comments.
Interesting title, especially as it is written in cyber. I like that you are getting specific feedback here. I’d like to be in a blog ring on Xanga that gives critical comments.
@vexations - Bill … I agree completely … I need feed back on what needs changed or how someone would do something different. I am here to learn and too read others works of poetry. Thanks for visiting.